“You have to be willing to give 100 percent with zero expectation of receiving anything in return.”
BOTM: Compound Effect by Darren Hardy
Why I chose this book:
This is officially my favorite book so far (used to be How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie) and it also couldn’t have come at a better time in my life. As everyone knows, social media is full of highlight reels and everyone living their best life. No matter what your social status, job title, income level, geographic location or marital status, you’re going to go through some tough times and that’s just fine. At times I feel as though I am putting in 100 percent effort with nothing to show for it, and to be honest that is tough to deal with. This book showed me what I think is 100% effort could possibly be only the bare minimum and that even though I may not be seeing returns as soon as I want, they are compounding over time. Just keep at it. I wish I would have read this book in college as I for sure would still be running my old sock company Slims! (if you’ve read this far, shoot me a message and I’ll send you a pair!) There are times I would be banging my head against the wall because I was so mad at myself for not being successful. There are so many things wrong with this though. First off, banging your head against the wall won’t solve any problems. Second, I had no idea what my own definition of success was so even if I had reached this point, I wouldn’t even know it. Third, I had no goals, no destination. It was like flooring it in a car and you don’t know where you’re going and you keep spending significant time and running out of gas. Quit beating yourself up (talking to myself and you) and start making legitimate goals. I’m going to be very transparent and write down my personal summaries and goals here as well.
Be the person who says no.
When everyone is saying yes, you say no. It’s not an incredible feat when you go along with the crowd. If you want to be extraordinary, you might be the unusual one and that’s more than okay.
The Thanks Giving Journal:
Logging one thing you appreciate about your significant other every day and then giving it to them after 1 year.
What percentage of shared responsibility do you have in making a relationship work?
100/0. Only when you are willing to take 100 percent of the responsibility for making a relationship work with zero expectation of anything in return, will it work.
The (Complete) Formula for Getting Lucky:
Preparation (personal growth) + Attitude (belief/mindset) + Opportunity (a good thing coming your way) + Action (doing something about it) = LUCK
Tracking Your Behaviors:
To be honest, it is easy to track but not pretty to look at when you first start. It will be uncomfortable but each time it will get better. Tracking is how you get your life back on track. This could be tracking financials (my favorite), social media time, tv time, pages read, drinks consumed etc.
Every decision and choice you make gets you closer or further from your goal. If you don’t have any goals, well guess which way you’re going. Being conscious of this in the beginning can be stressful and tiresome, but eventually it becomes a habit. Knowing that “buying this new pair of shoes is getting me further from my goal of saving for a house or that bringing lunch to work instead is bringing me closer! Soon you will be able to identify heat signatures all over the place as you will have well defined goals and will see opportunities on how to get a step or two closer!
Defining Your Core Values:
This is a huge category. I will make a separate post about this soon!
Set your goals:
Top people have very clear goals. They know who they are, what they want and why they want it. Unsuccessful people carry goals around in their head like marbles in a can. Goals not in writing are fantasies. Write your goals down and make them big!
Becoming “that” person:
Who do you need to become to achieve your goal? If you want to have more, you have to become more. You can’t chase success, you have to become it. It’s saying no to going out because you have to write up your blog. It’s making lunch instead of buying it because you want to buy a house next year. It’s setting your alarm an hour earlier to hit the gym because you want to fit your wedding dress. You become that person that can achieve the success you want.
Little Diet Trick:
We often like to try and diet for various reasons. Most people view diet as a negative thing, often thinking about the foods we are unable to consume. A very simple little switch can change the whole mindset of this. Instead, only think about the good food you are allowed to eat. Fill your focus on what you can have to no longer use attention or hunger for what you can’t.
Peak Performance Partner:
Someone who will keep you accountable as you cement a new habit and return the favor. Trade wins, losses, fixes, ah-ha moments and solicit feedback.
If you want to figure out what you’re addicted to (in a negative way) try stopping it for 30 days. If you are unable to do so, you have an addiction!
From zero to habits to daily routines:
If you want something to become a habit, it will take 30 consecutive days to do so. For me I wanted to wake up at 5a every morning so Monday to Sunday, I kept my alarm on for 5am. (Yes including Friday and Saturday!) If you want this to become something you don’t even need to think about, you need to do it for 300 days. Like turning on your car and driving, there are so many steps involved in this but because you’ve done it for over 300 (almost) consecutive days, you can do it in your sleep! The secret to success is in your daily habits.
How to get “Big Mo” aka Momentum to pay you a visit:
Making new choices based on your core values and goals
Putting those choices to work
Repeating them enough to build a habit
Weekly Rhythm Register:
Excuses I’m clinging onto:
I don’t come from a wealthy family
I took the wrong major in school
I keep quitting
Companies only hire their “friends”
I don’t know the right people
Small actions I can take everyday to improve my life:
Work on my daily goals for my 1,5,10 yr plans
Reach out to significant individuals and ask about their work
Say no more
More volunteer/community involvement
Small actions I can stop doing to improve my life:
Calling it “good” after one attempt
Hanging out with negative/lazy people
Making excuses for myself
Wasting money on insignificant social events
Areas and outcomes I have been successful in the past:
Mentoring and tutoring
Areas or circumstances in life I struggle with the most:
Three things I messed up in the past:
Quitting on my sock company Slims
Leaving my consulting position
Making poor short sighted investments
Three things I can start doing right now to take responsibility for the outcomes of my life:
Sticking to my financial goals
Committing to and seeing through personal projects until completion
Reaching out to more people outside of my network and establishing relationships
Three best habits that support my goals
Paying myself first
Going to meetups
5am gym time!
Three new habits to develop towards my goals